How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Do you need any assistance?

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

Alex Eggbert

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Woman's rights.

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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