How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

Chicken

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Hippopatomous!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...