MICHAEL

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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