knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

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poop

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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robin, get in the car.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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