A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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That's Racist

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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