Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

The 19th Amendment

A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

DOWN

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

poop

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Chicken

Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

21

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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