why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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