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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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