Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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