Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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feces

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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Matty B

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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