Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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A jew go out of a bar

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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