A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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