What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blind man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops