they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -24

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

thumb_up thumb_down -30

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops