(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +29

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I have no ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

stop it ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A jew go out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops