An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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