An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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What's White and can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Looks through the peephole.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Woman's Rights.

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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monkey sponge

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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