Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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democracy

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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