That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

no

Do you need any assistance?

Why? Because!

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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