I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a genetically disfigured fish please stop pollution.

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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God is real

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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13

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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