Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Agricultural production fell significantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +37

BWAT

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Japan called... They need help.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Cows go moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops