Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

What's brown and sticky? Poo

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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