What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +40

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

96

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your social life

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops