hi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i eat poop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The bird is not the word.... Its two

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops