Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The horse said "nay."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The penn state football administration

thumb_up thumb_down +1

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops