A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Hey

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops