What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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