A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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Where's my tractor?

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Matty B

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Knock knock What

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Anti jokes.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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