What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops