if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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women have rights

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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2

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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