where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

A woman leaves the kitchen.

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

general tso's broccoli

Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

Fuck her

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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