Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops