sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Womens' rights.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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