What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +23

h

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops