What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Homework.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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