you know what hurts.... PAIN

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops