Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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What sucks?

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Hellen Keller

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops