Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

oh hiya come in

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

A woman gets in her car to drive.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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