There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Hellen Keller

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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I have no ideas.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops