What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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A man. That is all.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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