Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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