Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Your Mom

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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An indian boy gets a girlfriend

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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