What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

"Hello." "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

thumb_up thumb_down +50

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops