What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Vagina-Boob

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Tim's gay.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Where's my tractor?

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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