- Anti Joke

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! stare

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

Bumsniffer

Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water whew, i was thirsty!

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

My mom's dead

I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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