Will you marry me?

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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