Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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