why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

is mayonnaise an instrument?

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

Vagina-Boob

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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