What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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like for a handjob.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Penis jokes.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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