How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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Your Mom

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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I'm gay.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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knock knock Come in.

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A jew went to Germany.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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