What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What did you say? I don't know.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Jokes are funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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