What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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World Peace

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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