69

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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cms.......?????

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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