There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That's Racist

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock whos there punctuation

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

b

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sarah taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops