why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops