- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Mmmmmmm Lemons

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

Freddie Mercurys teeth

Vagina-Boob

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

My friends are like trampolines I have none

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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