What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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The Holocaust

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Womens' rights.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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