what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

The Holocaust

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Microsoft Windows

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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