An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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World Peace

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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