Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Gestapo.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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Jewish People

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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