say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Womens rights

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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