What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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