What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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