There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

*you're

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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