Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Matty B

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Freddie Mercurys teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops